Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What is it like?

In the words of D...

I truly wanted to express my most sincere gratitude for our last session and I hope that you will forgive me if I did not seem quite gracious enough at the time. If I did not please let me say Thank you, Thank You, Thank You so Very Much! I’m so horrible with expressing myself in person. Sorry. I am working on that though. That is one of my many flaws that I am trying to address. I was always very shy as a kid around pretty women and girls and my past drinking only added to my inability to interact with beautiful women or people in general. Anyway, you were extraordinarily lovely that day, as is always the case by the way, and you really made me feel wonderful and “taken care” of. I absolutely was lost in the mesmerizing experience. I loved everything even though some of it was excruciating. That new brown paddle with the holes is a new favorite for sure. I especially loved it when you had me on the cross and then after “warming” me up for a while you pulled down my underwear and truly gave me some absolutely breath taking, blistering licks with it. I was so on the verge of “safewording”, but I did not want to let you down so I hung in and took them, ultimately loving every fiery, tear blinding smack. Please don’t hold back while paddling me. I want you to “break” me. Well, I don’t want you to break my back, but absolutely set my butt on fire please. . Oh, how you were stinging me with those swats! Thank you. Another favorite experience was your nipple clamps and the close interaction you gave me as you applied them and teased me by tugging gently on the chain attached to those horrible little clamps. I remember wanting to cry when I thought that you might just rip them off. Had you done that I think I my legs would have collapsed. That would have been so off the scale. I was truly enjoying my uncontrollable pleading with you to not do it though. I was so terrified of what that would do to me.
You also asked if I adjusted to the pain of the shock treatment. Actually I did. I kind of fell into an almost trance when it was steady and rhythmic. But you could have “woke” me up with a more intense jolt I know. I’ll try to describe for you what it does to me. Initially there is a biting, pinching, pulling sensation that varies due to the intensity of the applied voltage. It can be anything from a mild tingle to an absolutely un-ignorably excruciating, tearing, pulling sensation. If you leave it at a moderate intensity I have found that I can adjust to it by focusing inward on my breathing. It kind of hypnotizes me actually it seems. I lose myself in a dreamlike daze. I really enjoy it. 
The whole cage experience was phenomenal to me. I remember that I eventually started to feel warm, comfortable and secure in my new “home” even while being subjected to shock treatment. I also remember feeling a profound feeling of fright when I heard you opening the cage door. I reflexively wanted to move my body away from the door into the perceived safety of my space. That I’m sure was due to the heated rod treatment. That really hurt.  But if your hand touched me softly on the leg or hip I was drawn to you also. I love the pain and pleasure combination you give me. Thank you. When you would remove the nipple clamp and then while they were already on fire from the blood rushing back into them grab and squeeze them the resulting pain was near to a 7 in a 1 to 10 scale. I actually loved it though. I experienced a feeling of comfort and safety knowing that you were there and I was not alone. The whole experience of sight deprivation, electrical torture and isolation had kind of put my mind into an altered reality it seems. 

Oh, and at the end of our session one of the things we discussed was the residual effects of the electrical torture. I remember that I felt kind of light headed and had a jelly like weak tingly feeling in my upper thighs. This lasted the rest of the evening.  I went home and lay on the couch and immediately fell asleep while watching TV. I was so drained. When I awake a few hours later my legs seemed mostly back to normal but I was still amazingly tired. I slept like I haven’t in a long time though. That was due to the cleansing psychological effect your sessions have on my mind. It totally relaxed me and eliminated so many nagging thoughts from my head.  Thanks, I really needed that good night sleep for my first day back to work following vacation.
I’ve noticed that when you are finished with me often I am left in a mild form of shock. 
Thank you also for the time you spend talking to me at the end of the sessions. It helps to bring me back from the dazed state I’m in.   But I was very happy and contented. Maybe I was a little sad it was over, but that having been said thank you so much for granting me additional time with you. 
Good things always fly by it seems......