Saturday, July 30, 2011

Tough Lessons part 2

.... I did receive what I felt like was very real punishment for my socially irresponsible behavior. Thank you. I disserved it for letting you down. That little radio controlled electrical attachment is BAD! I was for some reason terrified of it. But I did absolutely love it as you made me drop my pants and present myself for you to attach it. Maybe the fact that I was so sad for not being able to take you out contributed to my being so susceptible to your wonderful fantasy school room scene? Oh,  but it was so amazingly real. I so much fell into the trance of my new reality. You are so wonderful at setting the tone and hypnotizing me until I am totally “there”. I actually was about to cry just out of pure frustration for not being able to recall some of the eleven parts of the heart as much as for the anticipated jolt. And that was something else!  The sensation instantly went from just a slight awareness of something gently wrapping the circumference of my penis to a feeling of hundreds of needle nose pliers, pinching, tugging, twisting and tearing violently around the circumference. It was almost like some demonic entity had grabbed it and was attempting shake and rip it off in a mouth filled with needle sharp recurved teeth. OHHHH!!! It instantly made my legs collapse from the pain. I was powerless to its force. I remember as we neared the end having failed to recall the two last parts of the eleven being near to collapsing and crying on the floor I was so I was so terrified of the anticipated jolt. I remember begging you to please just spank me. I did not care how many licks even if you left me black and blue. And your spanking did leave me blue and red on both cheeks. Thank You! I loved that part. And during the middle portion after my first failure, recalling only nine of the eleven, your over the knee spanking was spectacular. I so much “love” that little red paddle. OHHHH!! It’s biting “STING” is so incredible even through underwear it burns like scorching steel! I have no idea how many licks you gave me with it. I just know that I was lost in the blissful White hot Smacks! I think I grabbed on to your leg at least once in order to help quell the urge to reach back and block your swats. But the absolute best was the end. After having failed once again to memorize completely all eleven parts, I did get nine right again. But that was not good enough of course. You chastised me for having spent sixty minutes of time and still had not memorized all eleven parts. Oh, how hard a task that had become though. I was so confused and scared during the “ordeal”. But of course you would offer no sympathy. My sentence was one lick for every minute. Oh my GOD, that sent a chill through my stomach and into my knees. But I was still happy that you were not going to zap me with the electric ring. Anyway, you commanded me to kneel on your new prayer bench. I could see you in the mirror behind me preparing your instruments of punishment. You had everything on hand. Three paddles at least, the three pronged rattan and a little fiber glass cane that reminds me of a hornet sting with every stroke. Oh how I “LOVE” that thing.

Then you were ready. You ordered me to count. You started with the three pronged cane I believe. “WACK!!!! WACK!!!! WACK!!! WACK!!!!”:" ONE! TWO! Three! FOUR!" You started going faster, I got to I think thirteen and jumped to fifteen with the next stroke. UH OH! You caught me. I do think it was an accident; you were starting to go too fast for me. But that did not matter. You stopped and chastised me for my missing count and said that we would have to start over. OH!!! I knew better than to complain though. And not only were we starting over but you were going to intensify their sting. You set down your cane. Then you came behind me and grabbed the elastic waist band of my boxer shorts and pulled them down to my knees.  The air felt cool on my well blistered behind. But, I knew that this cool sensation would not last long. You repositioned yourself to my left and gave a gentle aiming tap, which I counted, “That Doesn’t Count!”  OHHH!!! My bottom was so incredibly sore! I took a breath,  “WACK!!!!” OUCH!!! It knocked my breath   right back out, I quickly gasped back in some more air and counted “ONE!” “WACK!!!” “UHHHH!!!” “TWO”.   You started going faster, I was struggling to keep up. You took a break at about twenty to switch tools. Oh NO!, It was that long paddle with the holes. “SMACK” “OUCHHHH!!!” “TWENTY ONE!”, I counted. I was kneeling across from a mirror and noticed that my face was now completely blurred. I was losing my vision from all of the pooling tears. “SMACK” “UHHH!!!” “TWENTY TWO” My voice was cracking now. “SMACK”, “TWENTY THREE!” Oh it BURNED!!!! Finally my mind started fading…… I kept count but the wash of endorphins was blurring the pain, OH!!!!!! Somehow I kept up for I think about twenty more and then you switched again. I was panting and to my horror briefly forgot my count, OH NO!!  Please come back?!! Then you asked “Where are we?!” I weakly replied, “40?” You did not question, either I was right or you let it slide, Oh Thank you!  Now it was a thin little fiberglass rod. It looks harmless enough but I now know that looks are very deceiving in its case. And you are so FAST with it. I couldn’t keep up but you did not restart. You just gave me about twenty or more stinging strokes with it. And “STING!” is the only way to describe it. It literally feels like I am being stung by some kind of very large angry wasp with each impact. I can feel the tip bury itself into my flesh imparting a blinding flash of sting. I was sobbing and overwhelmed now. Then it was over. I stood looking at my blurry image in the mirror; my face felt flush and wet from tears, my butt felt like every square inch had been scalded by boiling water. . OH It BURNED!!! I would not be asking for an additional departing spanking today!  Of course you know I loved it. Thank you!!
Thank you so much. I loved this school room session.  You completely altered my reality, I truly felt like I had no choice what so ever but to obey you and take what ever punishment you felt warranted for my lack of attention. What a wonderful session!  I was powerless to you and loved every mesmerizing moment. And I was terrified of that new toy of yours. What an adrenalin overload! 


Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Now tweeting! (took Me long enough didn't it?) FOLLOW, comment, tweet Me! -------------->

Monday, July 25, 2011


I do a lot of shows, public play, evenings of teaching, and even allow a few people  to use My dungeon space for their own play.  The purpose of all these ventures is not monetary gain but to give back to the community, create art, and create a space for women to be dominant and men to revel in it.
It was at one of My shows that My favorite flogger was stolen from Me.  I don't enjoy feeling the pain that still sits with Me from this person's selfish actions.  All of the bdsm tools I own, and were either gifted to Me by submissives or bought by Me, I allow other people to use, and in fact teach people to use correctly.
A lot of people were taught how to flog their lover or were whipped for the first time with this flogger.  It was a gift from My gay Dom mentor who taught Me about Leather, and he owns the matching black flogger.  He was gifted both floggers for participating in an International LeatherSIR contest.  In a sense the history of this flogger, and the weight it carried when it was gifted to Me was, to Me, more important than the object itself.
So well, I am very sensitive perhaps.  Many of My submissives have not been flogged by Me in a while because going to My flogger collection only reminds Me of what is missing. At parties I allow others to enjoy My collection (no one bad person has the power to make Me less generous) and I stick to electric play, or singletail whips, or paddles. I have had the opportunity of course to buy new floggers, but how could buying something, no matter what the cost, replace what was given to Me by My mentor?
I am now ready to get over this. I am assembling a new collection of floggers to suit My taste.
Many of My treasured submissives bring Me gifts regularly because they treasure Me. To you, I ask you look around and buy Me ONE flogger, (or a matching set of floggers) so that flogger can be very special to Me.  I would like to have a collection of memories.  I may put little charms with the initials of the one who gifted it on them, or burn their initials into them if they are wood.  I will hang them on their own rack in the red room of the dungeon near the cross to give them the honor they deserve. And these floggers will never leave the dungeon.
I have made a list of floggers I like on etsy:
I also like the floggers from

I would also like you to look around and choose something that speaks to you and is special.  All kinds of floggers are great including fur, chain, horsehair.  (If you buy a chain flogger make sure it is short so I don't have to worry too much about wrapping. )  If you haven't had the opportunity to see Me in a while but would like to send Me your flogger simply email for the mailing address.

Friday, July 22, 2011


Slave E just delivered My tightlacing vollers 18" corset.
Let the reduction begin! I have only 2 inches to go!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My Lingerie Obsession

I am obsessed with all things feminine, all the trappings of classic femininity.
The truth is, though only some women and crossdressers may know, these wonderful tiny things are pleasurable to wear.  I don't wear them for anyone's benefit but My own.  If you see Me out at a club on any given night of the week, or even at the grocery store, chances are I will be wearing many of My favorite things.
I remember being made to wear My first girdle and control top pantyhose.  It wasn't a good experience... these things were bought to wear to church.  What a terrible experience all us southern girls had being trussed up in so many layers, and greasy makeup, and unflattering dresses, to sweat buckets on church pew every Sunday.
Now of course things have changed.  I love the layers of undergarments, the more the better.  My personal lingerie collection includes 6 boxes of well organized pantyhose, piles of garter belts, pretty girdles, corsets, cinchers, silk robes, peignors, silk and lace bloomers, tap pant panties, bullet bras, bustiers, silk, nylons, lace, a fabulous array of feminine grandeur and frivolity. 
I have something of a pantyhose fetish.  In fact I only shave My legs to accommodate My pantyhose fetish. Having My personal slave roll down My pantyhose slowly every evening is one of My greatest pleasures.  Having My stockings worshipped properly is heaven.
I think every sissy/ tgirl should own as much pantyhose as possible. Garters, full hose, and perhaps a full pantyhose bodysuit.  They should even try wearing one pair of pantyhose over another for added thrill. (I have worn as many as 4 pairs of pantyhose at one time.)The shading of your figure, the tight shaping of your curves is to die for.
Running your hands along a silky stockinged leg is one of the best drugs in the world!

If you want to support My lingerie habit, buy Me an online gift certificate to one of these sites:
Fredericks of Hollywood, Secrets in Lace, BabyGirl Boutique, Agent Provocateur.
I may even post photos of Me enjoying My addiction!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Tough Lessons!

I had a lovely afternoon with a certain submissive today and a new remote control electrical toy.
I love having a little remote control in My hand!

We played in the schoolroom and worked on some pertinent lessons.  Apparently they were very hard to learn so I strapped on the new device on a particularly tender spot to help him remember his lessons.  He was very afraid and not allowed to see the device, he would only know what it would do.  I started out with just a little vibrations when he made his mistakes or forgot his protocols, just to let him know I had a remote in My hand.  He knew there were much worse settings already, mainly because he visits Me for training all the time.  He knew fidgeting and wasting My time would result also in a paddling, one swat for every minute of My time he wasted.

Number 10 he could not seem to remember. I gave him a bit of time to jog his memory, allowed him to sit at his desk, many chances.  He stood at the chalkboard again, shaking, and completely had no idea.  Terrible.  One press on a little button in My hand, ZAP! and he HIT THE FLOOR!  What a terrible toy!  

Needless to say, he was very careful from that point on to remember his lessons.  He only got zapped a few more times, but spent the entire time shaking and terrified at the prospect.
I will be buying more toys like this, definitely, of varying degrees of kindess.
Schoolteacher is one of My favorite modes!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Abduction days

Long ago, before I had the first dungeon, before I had the new super luxurious dungeon, I had an assortment of bdsm furniture in My basement.

*My first piece was a spanking/ fucking bench built by a very fun submissive from Lexington.  I had a very enjoyable afternoon instructing him.

*The first gag I owned was a red nylabone gag, very cute, made out of a dogbone chew toy, would like to find this gag again.

* One of My very first professional sessions was an abduction/ kidnapping.  I met a very nice cornfed farmer boy from middle of nowhere ohio and took him into My basement for four hours of delicious torture with various times of abandonment.  I have many pictures to remember this time by but this was always My favorite.  It makes Me think of the complete and utter dark hole, the completely helpless place he was in.  He was blindfolded almost the entire time. He also remained very excited the whole time, a testament to his youth. What was he, 24?

Monday, July 4, 2011


 But, now I was with you. Today we explored two new things and some very “nice” new toys. You first had me strip completely and kneel before your suspension pulley system and wait for you to return from another room. When you arrived you first blindfolded me. Then you placed a steel bar across the back of my shoulders, had me lay my hands over the tops and then you secured my arms in this extended t shape straight out to the sides and parallel to the ground. You then hooked up the chain to some points on the bar and proceeded to ratchet me up into a standing position. I remember a very real feeling of slight panic start to come over me as I realized I was definitely under your complete control now. It was kind of like being on your cross, only better because you had complete and unobstructed access to any area of my now totally exposed and vulnerable body.  Once you had me secured in place you told me that I could no longer speak with the only exception being the use of a safeword.  I, as usual, due to all of the built up nervous energy was just a little too enthusiastic in my acknowledgment of the rules earning a deserved verbal reprimand to “be quiet”. I had already violated my rules. Sorry! Oh well, I knew that you would “teach” me a lesson for my transgression so I did not feel too guilty.

Then came what turned out to be one of the most pleasurable “punishments” I have ever received.  To start I remember hearing you dragging what sounded like some sort of table over behind me, at least that is what it sounded like to me. Then it seemed that you paused and stood for a moment, possibly admiring your handy work. I was suddenly nearly overwhelmed by a strong feeling of anxiety, I could feel my pulse quicken and my breathing becoming shallower.  My mind started flashing through the possibilities of what was about to happen. OHHHH!!! What beautiful and Scary anticipation! I pulled down slightly on the chains. I was stuck, whatever was about to happen was totally beyond my ability to stop it. OHHH! I LOVED it!  I had heard you picking up some of the new toys a few minutes before and I knew that one of them was a very stiff little glass cane. I bit down on my lip fearfully anticipating that I was about to hear a brief VWHHOOOP!!! followed by that strange momentary lack of pain as my mind first just registers a kind of quick thump. Which is immediately replaced by a searing lightning bolt of fire shooting straight up from my butt cheeks causing my diaphragm to reflexively contract, forcing my lungs to expel an involuntary gasp before finally flashing out my eye balls forcing them to immediately pool with tears. But this did not happen, NOT YET! That would come later.  My first realization that something new was about to happen came in the form of a blast of very warm air caressing my back. Having just witnessed some fire play the night before I immediately concluded that I was about to receive some of this treatment. I felt a soft cool and slippery stroke up my back and then there was a quick acceleration of heat where you had just rubbed immediately followed by you smothering the heat with your hand. The flame was a little disconcerting at first so I leaned my head down some just to avoid catching my hair on fire. But after the initial scare I realized that I actually liked this warm heat rush.  Then you moved down some. You smoothed some of the fluid down in a strip on my left butt cheek. I felt a rush of super heated air, I think you were blowing the flame from one of the fire wands. Then OH! Now I could actually feel flame lapping at my flesh almost like very wispy little hot, ticklish tongues, at first it was mildly warm then it started getting warmer and WARMER and WARMER!   “OUCH” I hoped a little trying to pull my cheeks away, but the flame was actually on me now. OUCH!!  Just as it seemed I would blister you slapped across my cheek with a cool damp cloth, maybe an oven mitt, I did not see it. AHHHH!! This was NICE! I was starting to enjoy this new odd sensation. There was a blast of heat on my inner thighs; I spread my legs a little wider providing you easier access to my most sensitive areas. Wow, I was really enjoying this. I felt a cool slick brushing on my right cheek.  Then I felt the “woosh”. The temperature climbed and climbed until Finally forcing an “ouch” from me. You quickly snuffed out the flame. You applied the wand to the little crease where my cheek meets my thigh, then, OHHH!! Again that little hot tongue like caress!  You let it burn just a little longer prompting a reflexive hop and a small YOWCH!. You quickly slapped it out. Thank you! But I still wanted more of this new, wonderful, “torture”.   I was practically in a continuous semi orgasm now. This was Wonderful!! I continued to keep myself as open to you as possible; you blew the fire between my cheeks, YOW! It was hot but OH, So, nice. That combination of “sting” and dripping arousal was absolutely sensational in a very literal way! Thank you so much. Then, I guess you noticed that I was having a little too much fun, you took a break, to BREAK me. You set down your fire wand walked across the room and picked up the little pink fiberglass wand. I knew because I recognized the sound of it gently clattering as you grasped it.  I heard your footsteps as you approached. Upon reaching me you stood for a moment beside me. Then, “Stand Up Straight!“ I had kind of collapsed in ecstasy against my chain support. I immediately obeyed!  Oh gosh! I knew that I was about to make a payment for my pleasure! My eyes were blindfolded but I still squinted them tightly shut, gritted my teeth and took in a little breath………. WHAAP!!!!” OWWW! “WHAAP!!!!” Oh God!!! I now had two cane cuts in my seared cheeks! OUCH!! This really really STUNG!!! I wonder if it was due to possibly the outer layer of dead skin cells having scorched off of my cheeks? Whatever the reason it did not matter. All that mattered was that these strokes were absolutely EXCRUCIATING! Then you gave me some rapid fire strokes, WHAAP!!! WHAAP!!!, WHAAP!!!, WHAAP!!!, WHAAP!!!. I was dancing forward now, OHHHHH!!! This burned!!!! I wanted to jump away but I was suspended and could barely move forward. I was trapped. I could do nothing to protect my now thoroughly abused bottom. Then you paused. OHH!! I was panting! I tried to compose myself. Then “SMACK!” OUUUUCHHHH!!!!! You tried out your new paddle. I tried to get my breath back that had just been knocked out by my convulsing diaphragm, “CRACK!!!!” AGAIN! AAAHHHH!!! This paddle is terrible!! The angular velocity you reach due to its additional length causes a tremendous impact. My first sobs were coming out now. I had no choice either “quit” by safe wording or let myself cry. You took another break. I let my legs collapse allowing my entire body to be supported by my chain harness.  I was becoming exhausted.  Then, “SLAAP”, “YEOOOWWCH!!!” It was kind of a thump but the initial impact quickly was replaced by a curved line of fire that’s heat just kept going up and up!! OUCH!!!! I wanted to leap out of your way, but I was absolutely immobilized. Ouch how this “HURT!!” I was now crying pretty well. You gave my butt another, “SLAAP!!!” I jumped up on my toes, OUCH!!!!. Then you stopped this and walked away. I tried to recompose myself once again. I just kept telling myself “breath. It’s ok". I actually was loving it though. Remember I am, apparently, a masochist....


Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Goddess Ishtar

Ishtar was above all associated with sexuality: her cult involved sacred prostitution[dubious ]; her holy city Uruk was called the "town of the sacred courtesans"; and she herself was the "courtesan of the gods".[2] Ishtar had many lovers; however, as Guirand notes,
"Woe to him whom Ishtar had honoured! The fickle goddess treated her passing lovers cruelly, and the unhappy wretches usually paid dearly for the favours heaped on them. Animals, enslaved by love, lost their native vigour: they fell into traps laid by men or were domesticated by them. 'Thou has loved the lion, mighty in strength', says the hero Gilgamesh to Ishtar, 'and thou hast dug for him seven and seven pits! Thou hast loved the steed, proud in battle, and destined him for the halter, the goad and the whip.' Even for the gods Ishtar's love was fatal. In her youth the goddess had loved Tammuz, god of the harvest, and—if one is to believe Gilgamesh—this love caused the death of Tammuz.[2]
Ishtar was the daughter of Sin or Anu.[2] She was particularly worshipped at the Assyrian cities of Nineveh and Arbela (Erbil).[2]
Besides the lions on her gate, her symbol is an eight pointed star.[3]
In the Babylonian pantheon, she "was the divine personification of the planet Venus".[2]

Descent into the underworld

One of the most famous myths[4] about Ishtar describes her descent to the underworld. In this myth, Ishtar approaches the gates of the underworld and demands that the gatekeeper open them:
If thou openest not the gate to let me enter,
I will break the door, I will wrench the lock,
I will smash the door-posts, I will force the doors.
I will bring up the dead to eat the living.
And the dead will outnumber the living.
The gatekeeper hurried to tell Ereshkigal, the Queen of the Underworld. Ereshkigal told the gatekeeper to let Ishtar enter, but "according to the ancient decree".
The gatekeeper lets Ishtar into the underworld, opening one gate at a time. At each gate, Ishtar has to shed one article of clothing. When she finally passes the seventh gate, she is naked. In rage, Ishtar throws herself at Ereshkigal, but Ereshkigal orders her servant Namtar to imprison Ishtar and unleash sixty diseases against her.
After Ishtar descends to the underworld, all sexual activity ceases on earth. The god Papsukal reports the situation to Ea, the king of the gods. Ea creates an intersex creature called Asu-shu-namir and sends him-her to Ereshkigal, telling him-her to invoke "the name of the great gods" against her and to ask for the bag containing the waters of life. Ereshkigal is enraged when she hears Asu-shu-namir's demand, but she has to give him-her the water of life. Asu-shu-namir sprinkles Ishtar with this water, reviving her. Then Ishtar passes back through the seven gates, getting one article of clothing back at each gate, and is fully clothed as she exits the last gate.
Here there is a break in the text of the myth. The text resumes with the following lines:
If she (Ishtar) will not grant thee her release,
To Tammuz, the lover of her youth,
Pour out pure waters, pour out fine oil;
With a festival garment deck him that he may play on the flute of lapis lazuli,
That the votaries may cheer his liver. [his spirit]
Belili [sister of Tammuz] had gathered the treasure,
With precious stones filled her bosom.
When Belili heard the lament of her brother, she dropped her treasure,
She scattered the precious stones before her,
"Oh, my only brother, do not let me perish!
On the day when Tammuz plays for me on the flute of lapis lazuli, playing it for me with the porphyry ring.
Together with him, play ye for me, ye weepers and lamenting women!
That the dead may rise up and inhale the incense."
Formerly, scholars[2][5] believed that the myth of Ishtar's descent took place after the death of Ishtar's lover, Tammuz: they thought Ishtar had gone to the underworld to rescue Tammuz. However, the discovery of a corresponding myth[6] about Inanna, the Sumerian counterpart of Ishtar, has thrown some light on the myth of Ishtar's descent, including its somewhat enigmatic ending lines. According to the Inanna myth, Inanna can only return from the underworld if she sends someone back in her place. Demons go with her to make sure she sends someone back. However, each time Inanna runs into someone, she finds him to be a friend and lets him go free. When she finally reaches her home, she finds her husband Dumuzi (Babylonian Tammuz) seated on his throne, not mourning her at all. In anger, Inanna has the demons take Dumuzi back to the underworld as her replacement. Dumuzi's sister Geshtinanna is grief-stricken and volunteers to spend half the year in the underworld, during which time Dumuzi can go free. The Ishtar myth presumably has a comparable ending, Belili being the Babylonian equivalent of Geshtinanna.[7]

Ishtar in the Epic of Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh contains an episode[8] involving Ishtar which portrays her as bad-tempered, petulant and spoiled by her father.
She asks the hero Gilgamesh to marry her, but he refuses, citing the fate that has befallen all her many lovers:
Listen to me while I tell the tale of your lovers. There was Tammuz, the lover of your youth, for him you decreed wailing, year after year. You loved the many-coloured roller, but still you struck and broke his wing [...] You have loved the lion tremendous in strength: seven pits you dug for him, and seven. You have loved the stallion magnificent in battle, and for him you decreed the whip and spur and a thong [...] You have loved the shepherd of the flock; he made meal-cake for you day after day, he killed kids for your sake. You struck and turned him into a wolf; now his own herd-boys chase him away, his own hounds worry his flanks."[9]
Angered by Gilgamesh's refusal, Ishtar goes up to heaven and complains to her father the high god Anu that Gilgamesh has insulted her. She demands that Anu give her the Bull of Heaven. Anu points out that it was her fault for provoking Gilgamesh, but she warns that if he refuses, she will do exactly what she told the gatekeeper of the underworld she would do if he didn't let her in:
If you refuse to give me the Bull of Heaven [then] I will break in the doors of hell and smash the bolts; there will be confusion [i.e., mixing] of people, those above with those from the lower depths. I shall bring up the dead to eat food like the living; and the hosts of the dead will outnumber the living."[10]
Anu gives Ishtar the Bull of Heaven, and Ishtar sends it to attack Gilgamesh and his friend Enkidu. Gilgamesh and Enkidu kill the Bull and offer its heart to the sun-god Shamash.
While Gilgamesh and Enkidu are resting, Ishtar stands upon the walls of the city (which is Uruk) and curses Gilgamesh. Enkidu tears off the Bull's right thigh and throws it in Ishtar's face, saying, "If I could lay my hands on you, it is this I should do to you, and lash your entrails to your side."[11] Then Ishtar called together "her people, the dancing and singing girls, the prostitutes of the temple, the courtesans,"[11] and had them mourn for the Bull of Heaven.


Saturday, July 2, 2011