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Thursday, March 7, 2013

Monique Von Cleef Week: Love Letters to a Goddess

  Dear Mistress,

                        I cannot tell you how excited I am about the prospect of visiting you next Wednesday. As I mentioned yesterday, this will be my first actual experien­ce of physical face‑to-face subjugation of myself to a woman for the purpose of being disciplined. I have corresponded with several during the past three years and have submitted to their remote control but I have never before had the opportunity or obligation to present myself, and now I must to you, like a slave to his new mistress who will direct and train him in the ways of servitude and reverence.

                                 The four or five women who dominated me from a distance and by letter succeeded in getting me to do many humiliating and degrading things and required me to write regularly long and very descriptive letters to report in detail and without reservation exactly how I carried out their instructions. The two carried this out so far as to make me take photographs of myself undergoing the ordeals which they prescribed. For example, they would send me every week or so a small package of their soiled underwear with instructions to launder it the French way, as they described it. Perhaps you know what is meant. If not, you can make me tell you, and perhaps you will demonstrate the method when I visit you.

                                 Not only did I have to do this, I was also required to take photos of myself while doing it and then send them along with detailed written de­scriptions of my experience so they could be sure that I had been obedient and also that they could enjoy as vividly as possible the knowledge of my humiliation and suffering. I mention this so that you will understand that although I have never experienced the intimate personal control you have consented to exercise over me, I am prepared for the strictest and most severe disciplining. Indeed, I believe you will find it very difficult to make me beg for mercy or to think of a humiliation which will fully test my obedience. That, my mistress, if you will permit the boldness, is a challenge to you from your lovely slave...

                                 Your photos would indicate that among the etceteras must be leather-wear, high‑heeled boots, restrictable garments and devices, whips and other instruments of corporal punishment and control. I hope so. I am no less interested in all of these. I have a few such items and may bring them with me.

                                 I have obtained a room at the New York Hilton for the night of April 14th. I will check in at the hotel and call you upon my arrival there. I hope you will be able to meet me, for the first time at your home, since I am totally unfamiliar with the big city and will not know how to avoid chance meetings in public places with the many people who will converge on the Hilton to attend the Education Convention which I shall be expected to attend during the week following Easter. I am known by hundreds of them and have the distressing reputation of being a woman hater, since I am never seen in public with a woman. Perhaps you will want to correct this or at least punish me for it, but please, for our first meeting, let it be private. Please, dear mistress, I hope to speak to you again by phone before this reaches you, but I want to get this information into your hands as an aid to you in your plans of how most effectively to bring me to heel, as you would say in referring to the control you must exert over your two big dogs. Do you think you can train me as thoroughly as you have trained them? I won­der. And I wonder most of all what it would be like to have you try. I can hardly wait to find out, although my eagerness is strongly mixed with fear