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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Seven Ways to Serve your Goddess- when She is not there.

Do you?
Many submissives like to be able to see their Mistress once a week, or every other week, to be able to serve Her and also to alleviate their craving and need for Her control.  Some of My pets are only able, for various reasons, to see Me monthly, or even less than that.  It is obvious in the time they are away they are still having submissive cravings and needs, and this can be difficult and sometimes even painful for them.  So I wanted to take some time here to list a few ways a submissive can do just a bit to help him/ herself to feel My control, prepare for more submission, and alleviate this feeling when you are unable to see Me.  
  • Maintain your health and hygiene- FOR HER. Not yourself- obviously your standards are lower than Hers, and in keeping with Her standards and preferences for you, you are making sure your body is Hers.  I like My personal slave to use the soaps (a lovely dark herbal soap)I choose, so he smells how I prefer all the time.  he is also not allowed to wear too much cologne, once again, whether he sees Me that day or not.  he is also is required to eat healthy for Me, I sometimes choose what he eats that day.  he sends Me a little photo of his meal, and he knows that MY choices for HIS life are in place, and nourishing him. Feel free to ask Me if you think you are close enough to Me to deserve guidance in these areas.
  • Learn new ways to be of service to Her-  Youtube has a wealth of videos on things like massage, housework, service, etc.  Learn a new skill, and surprise your Goddess with a proficient slave!  Here is just one good massage video to get you started.  There are also many helpful videos about learning to serve on Kinkacademy.com.  This is a paid site, however, fair warning, but WELL worth it.
  • Make a folder with photos of Her- Especially nice if your life allows you to make this folder your screensaver, so it comes on when you are thinking about other things, and can comfort you and bring you great joy!  If you follow My twitter, I upload photos all the time.
  • Ask to be in Chastity for Her- If you are not married, of course, wearing a chastity or even just observing days of chastity for Her can be thrilling and powerful.  Even when She is not there, she IS.  And SHE is controlling you!! 
  • Do a Ritual for Her- In the same vein, one can make a small altar to the Goddess and make sure masturbation with Her in mind is a RITUAL to contribute to Her power, not just a disgusting physical act of emission.  NO, this is not a "cum on My photos" direction. This is elementary sex magick with the goal being communion and Goddess's ownership and control of you.
  • Send Her gifts or tokens of your devotion-  When even a small package of stockings arrives on My doorstep I am happy and filled with the warm feelings of some slave's caring and devotion for Me. Slavery really is a two way street and little things show Me how much of an impact I have made on My submissive's life just by being Me.  If you do choose to get ME gifts, check My twitter, as I almost always post photos and express My joy. What other ways to serve, when the slave is saving every penny for the next session?  Your goddess is not just an object or a lovely clotheshorse, and one of the things you appreciate is Her mind.  So why not send Her videos or articles you feel might possibly interest Her or enrich Her life?  Why not send Her notifications when you see a play, concert, or antique show you think may possibly interest Her? Why not send Her a letter expressing your gratitude for something?
  • Train your body for your next encounter- If you are hoping to take a strap-on, why not get a toy for yourself to play with so you know when you see Her you can take what She will give you?  (This step can also be part of the ritual for Her.)  If you like to submit to Her lust for torturing your family jewels, spend a little time each week torturing them yourself, when aroused or not, to get them used to the sensation. ( Make sure of course you don't do this too much prior to a session, so you are rendered unusable.)  Practice your slave positions.  Treat your bottom with arnica creams if it's been tanned recently, so it will be lily white and fresh as a daisy for the next time.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs


1. Be Patient
A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don't expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.

2. Be Humble
You may be God's or Goddess' gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.

3. Be Open
You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. D/s- SM is a very personal art, and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable D/s-SM friends.

4. Communicate
Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But - unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.

5. Be Honest
Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.

6. Be Vulnerable
Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don't always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you've written in your head. It's far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you're never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies.

7. Be Realistic
Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don't call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines.

8. Be really Submissive
This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don't. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.

9. Be Healthy
D/s-SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants - both active and passive - be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an "I want it all now" attitude when you aren't able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself best by staying healthy.

10. Have Fun
After all, this is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative D/s-SM play.

-from the Society of Janus

Monday, July 22, 2013

Slave Training- What's the Point?

Once in a while a boy says to Me with his actions or various words...

"I'm not into all this female supremacy crap.  I just want to be tied up and played with.  I don't want to kneel, bow, worship, learn slave positions, call you by titles of respect, follow various protocol.  I just want the fun stuff!"  (Of course this is assuming he is one of the sad few who don't find many aspects of training to be "fun stuff")

I understand the sentiment, to a certain extent.  I want coffee to arrive in My hand in the morning without any wait or work on My part.  I want to wake up with a fabulous rear end and not have to do all these damn squats and deadlifts.  But as My personal trainer would say, "This is what works."

Over time, in our lives, we learn and define what works for us.  I can travel all the time and be fine, some cannot.  I am not new to BDSM.  I do what works.  Many other Dominas also DO WHAT WORKS.

The fact is YOU have to be present for your transformation.  YOU will benefit from rituals and rules that keep you in the right place.  YOU benefit from knowing your slave position after an hour of intense whipping.  YOU will find comfort in that place, and from feeling the strength of someone else's unflinching power over you.

I love My rituals, rules and protocols for many reasons, but they stay in place, in the end, because they work.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Joyous Return!

Well, although I think all of us here in Cincinnati can admit this weather is pretty miserable, I am very glad to be back home.  I had a luxurious and fun vacation in Colorado with My slave, while My wonderful Cincinnati slave cared for My house and all My plants and took care of various other concerns.  I am planning some interesting things for the kinky people of Cincinnati, of course more on that later.  I came home to some lovely gifts- I wanted to express My appreciation for My sweet little pets!  THANK YOU!
I have a few new toys that are just begging to be broken in, and I can't wait.
Until then, I leave you with a little trailer to a cute documentary.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Sissy Maid/ Servant Training

I am in the market for a new, high protocol sissy maid for (safe/discreet) public use.  The maid will be trained privately to be suitable for public use.  This would be a perfect opportunity for a submissive who enjoys true service and humiliation.
If you are a painslut who is not into feminisation, but would enjoy serving in this sort of position, you may also be considered.  If you have seen Me before you go to the front of the list.

NO sexual "perks" so don't ask, or you will be immediately dismissed.

THE POSITION may include, as My whims motivate Me, but may not be limited to:

  • Basic Chauffeuring to and from Events or Shopping trips
  • HIGH Protocol 
  • Chastity training for focus
  • Punishment for infractions
  • Purchase by slave of Mistress's preferred slave uniform
  • Attendance to Mistress or other females at Events.
  • you must have availability to serve one Evening during the week.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Cincinnati Lesson Plan for Summer Deviants.

I will be returning and able to attend to the wayward boys and girl of Cincinnati's training by the 14th.
As usual, I am very busy upon My return so those who wish to see Me should request time as soon as possible.
I hold a special place for those wanting to spend time in the confession booth!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

True Femdom! or: Building a Better Male Sub.


One of the most fun and enriching experiences in Femdom for Me has been in the TRUE Femdom category, not the male fantasy one, although it does perhaps lend well to some male fantasy.

The truth is most males want to please Me. Some of the hardest parts of this journey for any woman exploring Her dominance may be :

1. What do I want?
Females are trained from birth by society to embrace everyone else's needs and serve the greater whole. Several of the new treatises on female psychology and and sexuality will reinforce to anyone the truth behind this. So it can be hard at times for the female to say, "What do I want?"

This is true ESPECIALLY regarding sexual desire, which I'm sure any male who has been with a submissive or shy woman can attest to.  It is a very fun and erotic venture once the woman can ask Herself this question, then set about making it happen.  She will be pleasantly surprised how much the world comes to Her heel.


2. How do I get it?
Now this is specifically easy at times and specifically difficult at times.   Sometimes I make major breakthroughs in My slave training, and sometimes I come up against frustrating circumstances.  Usually I eventually find things not to be what I thought them to be, and I simply need to go at a so-called "problem" from a different angle.

An example of this is with My comments regarding age. I have played with, and enjoyed many older male submissives.  Because of My age, though maybe it happens to many Dominas, I get a lot of applications from younger men. There is a huge difference in playing style between the two.
Over time however, I was able to pick up on what the biggest differences were, and now I choose to train the younger ones right out of the behaviors I find annoying or distasteful right away.  I no longer expect/ assume the same behaviors, and then become disappointed, which was probably the root of the "problem".  In the end, I have younger slaves who are just as palatable to Me as the older ones,  I don't have to create a moratorium on younger hopefuls, and I of course still enjoy the older ones who are already "broken in".  Hopefully, if the younger ones ever see other Domina over the course of their lives, they will also have an unfair advantage from good, strong training, and will seem to shine to Her out over the rest in their age group.

And of course, many submissives, young and old, enjoy a good, exquisitely strict training.