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Monday, January 6, 2014

How to Meet People interested in BDSM and Femdom

I'm very lucky in that I rarely have to choose from within the BDSM or fetish community for those I want in My personal life.  Men are usually pretty open to some kinky thing that a lady wants to try, especially if she happens to be dressed well for it. Of course there may have been some attraction in them to the devilish twinkle in My eye, but I digress...


Cincinnati is a very conservative and judgmental city.  It can also be at times, a not very "happening" city.  If you are into BDSM here at first you may feel there is very little for you to do about it. However, we do have a very thriving, open and friendly BDSM community here.



If you are into BDSM and you want to meet other people who are into BDSM:



Leave the house.
I can't stress this enough.
Find a local munch and go to it.
You will be nervous, so go with a friend.  YES, you have a friend who would like to see and learn more, even just exploring wise.

Munches are friendly.  These are simple open meetings in a public place, not play oriented.
The people in the community want you to be there!
They want you to meet people and have a good time!

There are munches and other low pressure meetings of fetish friendly folks almost every day even in this small town!  I go to munches Myself, just because I enjoy sitting with other sadistic people and submissives... just to have the similar penchant is a balm to My soul.

Introduce yourself 
and be yourself.
REMEMBER this is not a group of fetish providers. This is group of PEOPLE. You also, are more than your fetishes. Maybe you will be appreciated in this community for a special dish that is your recipe, your sense of humor, your immaculate attire, or the amount of pain you can endure.

Go to Parties or Events. Don't be afraid. You will not be FORCED to play, get naked or do anything else.  All of our communities are built on consent, safety, and discretion.

Be active online.  Fetlife is a great community of great people talking about great stuff.  When people online who regularly contribute thoughtful things, everyone notices.  What can you contribute?

Don't be a flake. This shows a great lack of respect, and starts a dynamic of mistrust.  You do not want those words to be associated with you!

Don't expect a porn movie. (or 50 shades of grey for that matter!) Real BDSM people are just that... real.  Real people with real jobs, kids, other obligations... they are not here to entertain you.

BE SAFE.  

Don't list your photo
on this or that site... However you can have a photo of yourself from the nose down! That can show everyone you ARE friendly and real. Dick photos don't really help anyone.

Don't go playing with people you don't know or don't know are safe.  YES there are unstable people in any scene.

Take your time and get to know YOURSELF and other people.  What you want may change.

Guard other's discretion.  Not everyone is able to be open, because of work, family or relationships.

Don't out people.  BDSM is sometimes and in some places less acceptable than being gay.


When entering the community or parties- focus on LEARNING, 
and focus on your contribution to the community.
This will make you the kind of person people want to be around, share with and YES,
PLAY WITH.