TRAVEL PLANNED FOR 2018- Chicago, NYC, Nashville, NOLA Apply to serve Me now or you may miss Me.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

How to Find a Dominatrix, and How to Avoid a Prostitute

DISCLAIMER: In NO way do I hope to demean or denigrate ANY sex worker.
This post is to help those looking for BDSM play only.


To a lot of people who have been in the scene a long time, they have been doing it long enough to really tell with one glance if a Domina is legitimate or not, of course once a while they can even go wrong.  It also NEVER hurts to communicate explicitly that you are NOT interested in sexual services, before you are all tied up and gagged. A real Domina will understand your trepidation and not judge you for wanting to be clear and safe with her.

Here's a quick guide to help you find the Domina of your dreams, and not get disappointed.

How to find a dominatrix in your area:

A few websites many real Dominas use to find submissives: 
  • http://www.maxfisch.com/
  • http://www.eros-guide.com/   Look in the BDSM section- some are escorts so be picky.
  • http://www.ddimag.com/directory2.php
  • backpage.com  - in Adult services, dom and fetish. Once again, some escorts advertise here also.

Does she have other ads? If she does offer sexual services as well, you will definitely want to specify what you are looking for here, or move on. Dominas usually don't offer sexual services, as we find it to be detrimental to the D/s dynamic.

Does she have a site or blog, or even an active Fetlife account?  A prostitute who gets paid for sexual services will not want to invest her time and money in fleshing out a huge BDSM or Femdom internet presence.

Does she have a dungeon, or toys?  A prostitute may have a handful of strapons, restraints, usually a lower quality whip. No offence here, she just has no reason to invest a lot of money in these things as there is less return for her.  A dominatrix will usually have at the very least a pretty good assortment of toys for more specialized bdsm play.

Does she look like a dominatrix?  All stereotypes aside, her ads will focus more on her dominance, skill or toys than on her ass or various sexual body attributes, as a dominatrix's clientele sees her more for her mind than her looks.  She will usually avoid submissive poses as well in her photographs.

Does she have any community support?  Community support, activity with other Dommes, or local groups is a good sign she really is what she says she is and truly has something to offer.

How much does she seem to know about BDSM?  A professional Domina does BDSM play professionally, so she has pretty much run the gamut of fetishes and kinks.  If she hasn't dealt with your fetish before, while rare, that's fine- but she should seem to be well-learned and experienced with most BDSM activities.  A prostitute may need more information from you, toys from you, etc.

Does she have any reviews?  Always look at reviews, this can clear things up pretty fast.

A few more words of help to those searching for a Domina:

Dominas are approached by men constantly, in real life and the internet, however they have made themselves available to enrich the lives of a select few. Dominas can often be curt in our replies; we can often break communication when we feel it is going nowhere.  Our time is very precious so if you want to see a Domina you really need to be respectful and to the point.  Worship with words is best done in session, not on the phone or in email.  You are simply arranging a visit.  Remember that you are not looking for a bully or mentally unstable woman, you are looking for a practitioner of BDSM and fetish arts.  Unless of course you are looking for the former, which is much easier to find.