Thursday, October 22, 2015

The bdsm friend zone

Its interesting and disheartening to see that bdsm culture has pretty much full absorbed the inconvenient and obsolete useless notions of romantic love that are prevalent in vanilla culture.
Throughout the bdsm world there are men and women looking for their bdsm soulmate.
Ah this magical person... they will be physically attractive to you, by your standards, which are often not even related to your own level of physical attractiveness.  For instance, obese men in their 50s who hope to be slave to young fit woman who watches what she eats and goes to gym to keep that ass up, yet have no intention of ever working out themselves.  She will apparently drink shitty beer with you and eat big greasy meals at TGI Friday's but have great skin and the body of a Goddess through some miracle. She will have her own collection of fetish wear but not mind the fact that you wear cargo pants, sneakers, and xxl t-shirts to fetish parties. After all, who doesn't get turned on by overweight middle aged men in cargo pants?
She will fulfill a list of requirements you have emotionally, in life goals, in demeanor, in hobbies, in attitude.
They will also fulfill a list of requirements you have kink wise... for instance, they will like heavy bondage, CBT, or spanking or service.  They will even approach these things the WAY you want... slutty, classy, playful, humiliating.  They will be the yin to your yang... sub to your dom or vice versa.  Oh, you are willing to try a couple new things, but you have your list and some real dealbreakers.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT... they will want you, and like you for you, and want to play with you just because.

The play never happens.

What actually happens 99.99999 % of the time is you either never find this person, or you find something close, and they are not actually interested in you.

The entire time, you are surrounded by people you could play with but you have placed them in the BDSM friendzone.  They only fulfilled 80 percent of your list, and for some reason, (looks, personality, lack of chemistry) you're not playing with them.
I have watched this even in gay leather culture at this point, the bullshit straight society's ideas polluting what we should be having... which is a GOOD FUCKING TIME.

Loosen up and remember this was supposed to be PLAY.
Get the stick out of your ass that society put there and have some fun.  You are only hurting yourself... when there are perfectly good candidates out there to hurt you instead ;)

Put a blindfold on and forget about looks.
Buy that lady some fetish wear or toys!
Buy yourself some fucking fetish wear.... women are visually stimulated too!
Go work out if you want a buff chick.
If you want something way above your level, don't dismiss the idea of giving something in return for Her time.