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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

After Care and Sub Drop

When we play with BDSM there is a noticeable high.  On the night when My well trained slaves were used for the Goddess party, these slaves were high as could be on the endorphins and intensity of the situation.  This is one of the many reasons slaves must be well trained to attend, because like any drug some people get scared teetering at the heights.  I would not push a novice slave into this situation without proper training these days.
After the high, is the comedown.  It's important to remember this exists and address it.  After a session the submissive may feel euphoric, calm, relaxed, floating on air.
Some more time passes, and the presence of the Domme is gone, and the sub may have:

  • anxiety
  • second thoughts about the play
  • sadness 
  • depression
  • irrational thoughts
  • spaciness
  • insomnia
  • appetite changes
It's important to remember during this time the unique chemistry of your brain and the strength of BDSM play.  Realize that most of the thoughts and emotions are tied to a drop in brain chemicals.
So how can you get back to normal and make the best of your BDSM session with this in mind?
  1. Make sure you replenish physically after the session. Nourishing foods, vitamins, carbs, water.
  2. Make sure you are warm - body temperature can drop and this affects your mood.
  3. Masturbate if you are allowed- this will allow brain chemicals to even out.
  4. Shower, bathe or take care of any wounds with Arnica or Lavender.
  5. Take photos of yourself to enjoy remembering your submission- this helps the high last longer and even out.
  6. Write to your Domme about your feelings and processing- sharing can help your future and your present processing.
I hope this helps a little and PLEASE do not let sub-drop affect anything in your life. Making big decisions, backlash against your fetish, doing anything drastic in this state can cause you regret.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Slave Training- Responsiveness

If you are trying to satisfy or please a Mistress or Goddess it is good to work on your response.
When I start training my slaves I often train with basic positions, protocols and such.  Deeper training involves reactions and response.
If you are playing with a new Mistress who does not know you or your triggers, your response could be the difference between 5 minutes of nipple torture you love or 5 minutes of single tail you abhor, or the other way around.
I don't like a lot of verbal response in My dungeon. I don't need a scrolling male voice playing out a porno fantasy dream.  I would rather he concentrate and become immersed in what I am doing.
 I like to hear gratitude from My slaves, like,
"Thank you Goddess" (verbal option)
"muffled screams" (nonverbal option)
"panting and crying"

Sometimes I will check in and ask if they can take more if they are in some stages.  Just to make sure I am not destroying them.  
Sometimes if a slave is very young, shy or inexperienced I will train them on proper response.  In this way they will be trained to communicate with any Mistress and their experience will be enhanced.
Communication is important.
Some Mistresses are ok with you saying things like, "I don't like pain" in the middle of a session. I'm not. I see this as topping from the bottom.  You should have discussed that with Me clearly earlier before you allowed Me to get into My top mode.  By trying to direct My scene with you in the middle of it you are doing yourself a great disservice.  You cannot let go while directing and having control. For over 6 years now men have been trusting Me as professional to allow them to give up control. 
NOW a way you can communicate without giving the topping from the bottom:
"Mistress may I please make a request?"
"Yes you may speak." 
"My nipples are very sensitive and cannot take a lot of pain.  I forgot to tell you this."