Monday, December 19, 2016

Learning your ABCS- BOUNDARIES

Hello, Everyone it's My birthday today, so what better time to talk about one of the most important things we enjoy in BDSM, BOUNDARIES.
Beyond the world of BDSM we have a lot going on.  Family life, Career aspirations, friends who don't want or need to know what excites us in the bedroom.
Boundaries are important and open discussion helps to keep the right boundaries in place.
All My clients, slaves and submissives benefit from My unwavering stance on boundaries.  I only keep clients, slaves, subs who also respect My boundaries.
These can be physical boundaries, like no marks, no needles, no photos.
These can also be about discretion.
A friend of Mine was outed by the first professional Domina he saw in Ohio. The Domina, who overall I haven't seen too much negative press about, was drunk at a local bar and detailed both Her activities with him and his identity, to men who knew him in the town.  Rumors so juicy are bound to spread, and he even has heard his story now repeated years later as an admonition against such terrible lack of discretion.
Well, now that he has moved to totally new city he doesn't have to worry about it right?
Perhaps I am hopeful in thinking this Domina truly regrets her loose lips sinking ships.
Boundaries go both ways as well. I don't like My personal slaves or anyone else talking in great detail about what it is we do in the dungeon.  What better way to reduce a heavenly, transcendent experience to the most base, rote excursion.  It can also create false expectations, as what I do with one slave I don't do with the other.

Boundaries and open communication help us to have BDSM and Femdom be sustainable in our lives.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Learning your ABC's- Attentiveness

Why is a slave attentive?
Is it to make sure he has pleased his Mistress to the best of his ability?

Or is it because by being attentive, focusing his mind on his Mistress and serving Her desires is such a peaceful state?

Your mind loves to think it is good at multi-tasking, but it's not. Just recently I had a slave doing some of his weekly slave chores.  His mind was somewhere else.
This is a natural mistake, but let's be clear... IT IS A MISTAKE.
Your life very well may be in upheaval, you may have too much work to do this week, and tons of things on your mind. But using your mind in any way besides in service is a waste of time and energy.  When you are slave not only is your body in service, your mind must also be in service.

It may help to realize as you shed your clothing, put on a collar, or otherwise get ready to play, you may let go of all those things and leave them for the person who wears that watch and suit, the collarless person.
It may also help of course, to take the slave, whip or cane him into tears, and then let him go back to his chores.
It may help to express to your Mistress or Owner what sort of training helps you to forget your worries... for some it is bondage, for others it may be pain or humiliation. When you learn what helps you "zone out"  tell your Mistress.  When you have huge worries outside the dungeon, that may also be worthwhile to tell your Mistress.

A 2008 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior used saliva samples from before and after BDSM play to judge stress levels found that both submissives and dominants had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol that before.  Even during extremely stressful scenes, stress levels were lower afterward.

In other words, just do EXACTLY what I tell you and reap the benefits.